kalbong naka-turtle neck

Panunumpa: Pag ako nakalbo, ding hindi ako mag to-tortol neck…ayawkong magmukhang ROLL ON-DEODORANT.

Pero marami silang ganyan…maraming roll ons ang nagkakalat sa kalsada…at taking note ang bokalbs na naka-black turtleneck…lagyan mo na lang ng itim na stockings sa mukha, teren—Robber ang dating men!

Question: Maam, sa Pinas po ba  abot leeg ang lamig? kala ko kase sa Stets lang ganun. Kaya pala. 

Sa totoo lang, di ko type mga shiny bokalbs, I have a wider space to kiss kase. Uy wag kayong papa apekto sa kaartehan ko, Bokalbs won't let you down! You Go rexona men!

lugar lang po sa Guimaras

Holy week sa Guimaras with hot hot holy friends

Nakakamiss ding mag-hasang removal at nangyayari lang yan pag gutom ka na. hehe. Eto at balik Guisi,Guimaras na naman ang destination ng Holy Week ko, this time though with new circle of hot friends from the office. Isang taon lang ang nakalipas at andaming nagbago sa Guisi Beach. Kung dati ay 80 peysos mong makukuha ang cottage ngayon eh 250 peysos na, kaya Go for Pichay! Kung dati ay maragsa mong nabibigkas ang gi-si !!! ngayon eh samahan mo ng konting sosyal slide sa dila and say GUISE as gi-sey. Iba talaga ang pinoy, bahala na pang-waray basta high class pakinggan shoot na yan. 

more PEKTYURs sa GUISE

it pays to be cute

Gusto ko sanang sabihing "it pays to be short" pero dahil marketing grad ako mas mainam ang "it pays to be cute". O sige na "it pays to be short and cute and honest-looking and virginal". These are the ingredients para maka-discount ka ng pamasahe sa Bacolod baby. yeah right, last weekend pumunta akong Negros to visit a deary friend,Zaad. When I got in Bacolod, I made some major hilakwatsa while I made hintay sa cute na pinasundo nya saken. It was my first time to drop by Bacolod–alone–so I ride every route to get around the sweet city. It's a good feeling to feel so freaking lost. Pero itong maganda, mula traysikel hanggang jeep hanggang bus, mukhang "student fare" ang lola mo. Di ko lang sure kung college-looking o mukhang elementary. Talaga lang heh! kung yung ibang teenagers, ni-require ang valeed i.d.s eh ako physical value lang lusot na sa elementary appeal. Good for me Im cute angal ka!Total accumulated discount ng nene eh umabot ng P56.50. isang KFC spaghetti meal pa yan kuya! kaya salamat sa Diyos I'm cute.

Para sa karagdagang pektyur pektyur, sumilip ka sa AKING KABIGAAN.

How can you get a girl to like you?

She is the girl of your dreams,every time you see her your heart skips a beat, every thought in your head is about her, you make small scenarios in your head, taking her out, walking hand in hand with her ,talking and laughing with her and even kissing her. The problem is that you don’t even know her name,or you have never even spoken to her,or you’re casual friends period, so how are you going to get her to like you?.

Get Her To Notice You Too

 
(more…)

The Modern Day Love Letter

SAMPLE:

My ever dearest Reth,

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your cute cousin, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Mr. SuperStraightforward

Ang lalakeng me buto vaw.

Si lalakeng me buto ay di puro pa-cute, di ubod ng pa- charm at higit sa lahat di pinong mahangin. Si lalakeng me buto ay di pinanganak na ubod ng gwapo. Di rin sya maporma tulad ng mga bling bling guys. Hindi sya naghahanap ng trophy girlfriend at di naniniwala sa superpisyal na mga bagay. Di naman sya simple, di lang talaga nya ugali ang magpa facial twice a month. Di man sya ang pinapangarap mong Piolo Pascual at Brent Javier, taglay nya naman ang recipe ng isang hitsura at personalidad na di mo basta basta na lang itatapon. siyaks! Hindi sya mahilig sa confused state. He knows what he wants and he's been true and straightforward about it. He takes risks in love. His heart may not always be right but no one could blame him for not trying at all.

yep yeps with the real straight guy please stand up! 

sinong bespren mo doon?

Every good friend  was once a stranger.

Thanks for keeping me human.

kung bagong tuli ka nga naman

Tuwang tuwa ako ngayon dahil yung maldito-supladitong apo ng kapitbahay naming pulis dyan sa Ybiernas eh ayun—TINULI.
Wahaha  isa pa WAHAHA!
An sarap nya talagang tingnan na nakatikom lang ang bibig walang magawa kundi sumilip sa bintana nila sa second floor.
Hahaha! Eh di natahimik ka batang palaaway! Yan, yan ang napapala ng mga batang me mood swings. Ambait bait namin sayo parati, nilalambing ka pa nga namin tas magpapakyu ka lang shet kang totoy ka! tagal mo ng ganyan ah–
Angat na angat ka nga kasi Sam Milby pang tawag namin sayo tas mandudupla ka lang—-eww GMRC puleez. Bawasan ang pagka supladito Nakew sanggol ka pa iho—mag cotton candy ka muna.
Pasalamat ka weakness ko ang mga bata kaya hanggang ngayon natitiis kita. Pati yung classmates ko di mo pinalampas sinuntok mo pa ang pwet.

Di ko na tuloy alam kung nananantsing ka lang o talagang me tingkuling ka.
Maldito na, supladito pa, palabato, palachansing, palasigaw, pikon, pikon at higit sa lahat grade 3 ka lang. San ka ba pinaglihi? sa utot na di mailabas-labas?
Pero ayus lang kasi ang cute cute mong pagmasdan ngayon. Sana umabot ng one week na ganyan ka lang. Panu ba yan eh dyan kami parati nikakain ke lola mo, pwedi bang nitabi kami sayo Sam?
Ayan papalo na yan—ayan na–ayan na talaga—-oops ang hotflushes ingatan ang mood swings  baka mangamatish. hekhekhek
Naku ha! ambata mo pa ma-pride ka na! MAGPALDA KA NGA~

nakatikim ka na ba ng "kumos kumos"?

Nakakamiss ang simpleng buhay sa UP. Ang buhay aktibista, buhay walang pakialaman, buhay pa-tsinelas2x, buhay "life is unfair get used to it" at higit sa lahat ang buhay kumos kumos.

haay nakakamiss ang mga kurimaw—-

Through the happy times and the shaky times, lets toast for the GOLDEN YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP!

ang night sheep

Kung eyebags lang ang pag-uusapan aba'y malaki-laki na rin ang investment namin dyan. Ako nga eh, parang eyebags na tinubuan na lang ng mukha.  Kung nakakapag paganda lang ang pagpupuyat aba'y SUPERSTAR na sana kaming lahat. At kung me bayad lang ang overtime nakew! pwede nang mag-asawa si Shiela Ola. nyahaha!

Masaya namang mag overtime. Yan ang tanging oras na lumalabas ang tunay na kulay ni Gian. Tinatawag namin yung Medication Time. Ako, si Nang Claire, Shiela, Dara, Gian, Marvin, Yves, minsan si Dino at syempre ang virginal na si mama Glends.

Buhay Night Sheep.

Ayon sa akin, pinakamadalas mag-CR si Joven last week. Walang humpay pa rin ang paghatsing ni Merben at flourishing pa rin naman ang rapping career Jerson. Likas pa rin ke MJ ang biglang tawa habang poised na poised naman si Gian sa pag iidlip. TALENT yun friends, di nyo yun kaya ng walang unan.

Sa kabilang dako naman ng aking likod, nariyan si Amy. Ibang level ang wakal ng lola mo sa US politics! iba na talaga pag kaka client switch. Ayon ke Amy "Next year, it is possible that the US will have a republican president and a Democratic Congress".

Hudyat na ba ito na magpapa bangs na si Amy? Si seatmate ko naman na si Vitamin C, idontlikeyouinthatway pa rin na parating nangungulit ke Shella na bagong shucks my hair! Late ba si Karl? di naman masyado. Me bago atang singing idol sa tabi ni Dara, Dar wag mong pigilin sabayan mo na.

Langya Thickening Cream, I swear kumapal ang mukha ko

Nasubukan mo na bang mag CR sa Men's?

Ako dalawang beses na. Yung isa sa terminal ng bus at yung isa sa SM City Cinema. Kahapon lang. Eh ano naman ngayon, kesa ma-ospital ako, daanin  na lang sa kapal ng mukha. Kumatok naman po ako nagtanong, "Me lalake pa ba sa loob, makiki-wiwi lang." Lumabas ang 2 lalaki, sabi nung isa me cubicle naman sa loob.

Kaya Ayun! splash splash swiss-swiss-swiss…whew,ecstacy.

Nung me bumukas ng pinto, sumigaw ako "Me babae dito, wag ka munang umihi." (kap—–!) Yung walanghiyang kurimaw pumasok pa rin! K fine hihintayin ko muna syang matapos bago lumabas (parang ambastos ng linya ko)

30 seconds sa loob ng cubicle. Feeling ko di sya nag-wiwiwi kasi ala naman akong marinig na swiss-swiss-swiss. So lumabas ako sa cubicle with all my might habang tinatakpan ng panyo ang mukha! Yung kurimaw sinigawan ako "Hoy miss bakit dito ka umiihi!!!" sabi ko na lang "kayo nga umiihi sa kilid poste wala naman kaming reklamo".

Paglabas ko ng CR eh sya namang pagpasok ng guard. Nakew ano kayang iisipin nya. Bahala na si Lord.

that long and rocky road

Kung bakit ba naman sa dinami dami ng pwedeng mapagkamalang eyeshadow eh yung condom pa na color Pink! nakew–is a shame is a shame! kawawa naman ang inosenteng eyeshadow…at kawawa naman ako! ok na sana kung walang nakakita–ang mga walanghiyang machong kurimaw na yun, nag eenjoy sa aking ka inosentihan…nakakainis! sa tatlong kurimaw na yun, yung isa eh jan lang rin sa may Ybiernas nakatira—haynakuuu–magpapahilot ako ng mukha tuwing makikita ko sya…

Hindi pa naman sya mukhang virgin kaya siguradong "hehehe" ang sabi ng utak nyang cute din.

Ang kaganapan:

Pumunta si Breachelle sa Watson para maghanap ng eyeshadow na bagay sa damit na susuutin ng mga boardmates na mag je JS Prom. Nagkawanggawa na nga ang drama eh nakarma pa. Later ay nakita nya ang rectangular-shaped na kulay Pink na maniwala ka mukha sya talagang eyeshadow. Engot ko talaga-di naman yun nakalagay sa may cosmetics.

Dun yun nakapwesto sa may chocolates (hmm tweet din ba yun?). Nakita kong binili sya ng koreano na parang "wala lang", para lang syang bumili ng kendi mint with matching tinapon pa ng slight, walang ka effort effort. Proud na proud mag eyeshadow. Habang ako naman hinahawakan ko na sya–yung pink na yun. Tas biglang tumitig yung tatlong cute na kurimaw–pati yung cashier at yung isa pang cashier–natingala gid ako! –super smile pa yung kulot na cutie..Tinanong ko pa nga si miss cashier "Miss hypoallergenic ba to?" nyahaha,  nga naman! pwede sa categorya!

"oo miss" , cashier 1

"damu na gausar sina", cashier 2
 
di ko talaga na gets shet! yung mga kurimaw nasa likod ko na para bayaran yung Cadbury nila. Tas hindi ko talaga inaalis sa kamay ko yung pink at take note! take note ha! sabi ko pa "miss pwedeng buksan titignan ko yung kulay". Sabi nya pink yan! Napansin ko na me red tongue na drawing na parang cute naman ang pagkakadrawing. hihihi. Under nung tongue, naka sulat ang adjective na "Long and Rocky ROad". At syempre ang binibining engot, ENGOT pa rin. And my guts pa akong magdemand,
"Miss buksan ko na lang kase long and rocky road nakalagay, baka di sya pink" SHEEEEEEEEET!  my gas! At eto na sumagot na yung isang kurimaw na itago na lang natin sa pangalang "white sando",

"Miss ok yan kasi manipis".

Tas nag momoderate laughing sila na parang  "suya bah!" Humirit pa yung isa 'isipin mo na lang ham yan!"
Mabuti naman di na ako nag reply. Kunwari raw suplada ako. In fairness naman saken, nakita ko yung seal na me nakalagay "SAFE FOR YOUR PROTECTION". (is a condom is a condom !!)

ayun shoot, eyeshadow nga!

syempre isnab to the max ako dun sa mga kurimaw na naka sando kahit malamig tse!
eh ano naman ngayon! cookies and cream ang hanap ko leche!

tandaan LONG AND ROCKY ROAD—>mabibili sa watsons!

If you’re ugly and you know it dont clap your hands

-”Mahalin mo ako di dahil nag eyeliner ako-”

The best thing about being a woman is being able to doll up. That means looking good, feeling better, be more beautiful and be more of a woman. For some women though, putting on a lipgloss is a major pamatay decision.

Unexpectedly, a casual friend from the office drop me this line via YM;

“Breach, alam mo gusto ko rin talagang mag skirt at mag make up, kaya lang nahihiya ako sa kanila. Tapos yung mga friends ko, pag nag me makeup ako, sinasabi nila mukha akong aswang“

huwaw

Looking at her, I can tell she’s a woman of careful femininity. She doesn’t talk much but got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She’s beautiful.

I told her. You know what meron akong boardmate who’s used to making my eyeliner a freaking big deal. I would always tell her that, assuming all things constant, it makes me look better.  After a few months, tsaran, nag eeyeliner na rin ang bruha at BLUE pa! namaaaaaan!

There’s nothing wrong with dolling up and making yourself feel better. And definitely nothing wrong with being beautiful. We make an effort to look prettier to feel good and not to please others.

It’s sad to know how we care so much about others’ opinions that we forgot to take care of ourselves na lang. Oh forget those shiny plastics! They know they want it too! well dear, feel happier cos you have every right to look superhot.

Really, loving ourselves is not selfishness but enjoying and celebrating who we are. Di naman yun pride, which is really insecurity disguised. That is the quiet self-acceptance that does not have to prove anything to anyone. (pwede na bang ambassadress ng Dove?)

Kelan ka pa mag iiskirt pag 80 years old ka na at pwede ng isampay ang legs mo! it’s also a matter of timing. When you think it’s time to strip away some old self skins, well YOU GO SUPERSTAR! unearth that want.

My college days were full of skirt skirt skirt, why? Cos I want it then and I never had it in high school. I should know. I came from an all-girls highschool where JS PROM is the most horrible event. Ultimo JS Prom eh naka uniform at kiwi-shined black shoes. Bawal ang pants pag me activity, highly recommended ang long, long maria klarang palda na samahan mo na rin ng sequins. Bawal ang bra na color black, whatta! at higit sa lahat bawal mag lollipop na di tinatanggalan ng stick. Pakshet. Malisyosang mga madre yun.

Usung-uso samin ang T-BIRDS. Pag tibo ka, shikat ka fren. at pag Eba ka ni tibong Eba,aba magpaputol ka na ng buhok dahil ang haba na! Nagugulat na lang kami tuwing me reunion dahil yung mga tibong Eba—>Paris Hilton na! at take note may babies na! ang landi ng lola mo!

This goes without saying that GIRLS are meant to be GIRLS—-no matir huwat! MAARTE TAYO madir at masarap maging maarte. Basta when you really want something in this world, be it a major fashion sense change or a minor face hilot, eh gawin mo! enjoy yourself while you’re young and virgin.

Show off those legs, mag two-piece ka, magbunot ng kilay, magpa facial, matutong mag pedicure, magbasa ng cosmo, mag shave, cheek tint, maglipgloss, magpakulot, magpa straight, magpa pierce, magpussycat at mag eyeliner ng pula!

Tapos harapin mo ang mundo and say “Mahalin mo ako dahil BABAE ako“

my brother is not a pig

HAPPY BERTDEY-Masaya ako today dahil on vacation leave si Buddy. Atleast makaka rest sya from the toxicity of his buhay sa hospital. Sana makadaan sya dito sa Iloilo. Eto si pinalangga kong Kuya with his pretty lovelife. Pareha silang nurse at pareha ko silang labs. Adoo doo doo. Hindi ko sya tinatawag na kuya kasi mukhang mas matanda pa ako sa kanya mula pa noong unang panahon. Asar nga kasi cute naman ako nung bata pero baka nung 10 yrs old na ako eh mukha pa rin syang 4 years old. Sa pagkakaalam ko, mabait si Buddy. I should know. Wala yang bisyo, malinis sa katawan at suki ng 9 mornings tuwing Pasko. Ako nga  di ko pa nakokompleto yun.  Tingnan mo naman ang difference. Dalawa na lang kami ngayon kase nag ba bye na si baby sister Chrisia. I want to say na pagdating sa pamilya, wala na akong hahanapin pa. Si mamang, si papang, si Buddy at ako, kompleto at masaya. My family matters above anything else in this world.

Female looking for love and companionship

This is Namia. She is a hot dog. She is loving, patient , understanding and above all single. She enjoys her fun time on the bermuda grass but enjoys making wiwi on the carpet. She is not your ordinary dog.

Now she sees the right time to open her heart to someone, something. She is looking for someone  much simpler than her. One who eats just anything under the table, bukog na nahulog, kan-on na nahulog, kag sabaw nga may gatas, milo, juice kag sardinas. And by the way she is not alcoholic so dont bother asking her for a “shoot “. She has set several standards though:

1. thou shall be someone who takes a bath daily

2. thou shall not be the materialistic type

3. thou shall not use Vaseline as  a shampoo

4. thou shall not steal

For those who feel qualified or super qualified please feel free to contact her bugaw. Here are some of Namia’s lovely pics during her vacation outside the house.

 Namia under the bayabas tree

 Namia bitching at the neighborhood

the bitch sa kangkungan ni lola

So hurry send your application letters while slots last, this is a once in a lifetime treat perfect for Valentines ^__^ 

p.s. sa maswerteng ka-date ni Namia, hanapin mo na lang sya sa States

same wavelength

May mga taong isang oras mo pa lang nakikilala ay  ka-"click" mo na. Mahirap i explain. Basta ako, naniniwala ako sa konsepto ng "same wavelength". Here are a few of my super stand out friends sa City of iloilo, ewan kung anong breed ng kangkong ang nag connect samen: AKO MUNA–syempre friend ko sarili ko:

Breachelle del Rosario

Korean Name:  Ma Fut La

Favorite seafood: ginahasang sugpo na tinanggalan pa ng ulo

Celebrity look alike: Matt Damon 

Movie look alike: Scooby Doo 

Motto: 1 + 1 equals 2. No more , no less.

Ultimate Turn Ons: long hairs na walang hangin

Ultimate Turn Offs: mga mahahangin na tinubuan ng mukha

Angry Line: spammers die in fire!

Message: Ang sabi nila beauty is seen on the inside, not on the outside. Motto lang yan ng mga panget, buti na lang akin time is gold. 

Lady Grace M.

Korean name: So So Kola Kei

Favorite seafood: nakabikakang palaka

Seafood !! : ah South China Sea

Celebrity Look Alike: Kelly Clarkson 30 yrs from now

Movie Look Alike: Gladiator

Motto: If you don't sing, don't bother.

Ultimate Turn Ons: the curly topsies na chubbies. Cute ba?! hmmm mabait..

Message: I dont believe in change. There is no such thing as change. Change is nothing. You cannot change anything. Stop changing. I hate change.

Marjorie L. 

Korean name: Chi Ta E

Favorite seafood: kinusing bangus

Celebrity Look Alike: if not serious speaking, Nicole Kidman, if serious, Sarah Michelle Gellar

Movie Look Alike: Patayin sa Sindak si Barbara

Favorite Motto:  Do not do into others what you dont want what others do into you

Obsession: grammar

Ultimate Turn Ons: mga chinitong pango na tatlo lang ang t shirts

Ultimate Power Off: Pinoy na blonde haired

Angry Line:  Go away and leaves me alone!

Message:  When i was young I lessen to the radio waiting for mine favorite songs.